speaking of summer...

Could it BE any nicer this weekend? I've been spending some quality time down by Greenlake (Green Lake?) catching some rays. I feel very proud of myself, because two short years ago I was going through a Paranoid Phase where I would not go into the sun. Like, at all. Think barbecue-by-the-pool, everyone-else-is-enjoying-the-sun, and Allison-is-by-herself-under-the-umbrella. Granted, I'm still a little obsessive about putting on sunscreen, but I feel like I've come a long way. Not that I could be considered "tan" by any sense of the word. Maybe "not translucent."

A view from where I was sitting yesterday:

I know, I know, you're saying to yourself, "Get a pedicure, Allison." Or you're saying, "Wow. She wasn't kidding about being not tan." Or maybe, "The grass looks pretty weed-ridden." Leave me alone! Just enjoy the scenery.

Parade Numero Dos

So last weekend was the Fremont Solstice Festival here in Seattle. My sister, her boyfriend and I walked down there to observe the craziness. And whoa, mama, was it crazy. Not only were there jillions of people there, but half of them were either naked or wearing tie-dye. Oh yeah, and there was a guy in the sandwich shop that was all bent out of shape that they didn't serve beer. (Unlike the Beer Garden at the Flag Day parade, might I add.)

But there were several things in this parade that certainly were not part of the Flag Day celebration! For example: 

People On Stilts. With Huge Hands.

Guys Dressed In Drag.

And, not pictured, since this is a family-friendly blog: Nude Bicyclists. Seriously. They strip down, paint their bodies, and ride around in all their glory. It's not really clear if they're an official part of the parade or just jump on in there, but no one's really complaining about it.

There were some other cool floats and stuff, though, too. Lots of bands and dancers and whatnot. Here are a few of my favorites:

All in all, it was a great way to celebrate the first day of summer! To do for next spring: 

1. Tone muscles

2. Buy a bike

3. Stock up on body paint

Parade Numero Uno

Ack! It's been too long. When I started this blog I was just certain I'd be bubbling with exciting tales from my summer. Then I remembered one important detail: I'm not a very exciting person.

One of the Most Memorable Experiences from this month was going to see my brother and sister-in-law (expecting the first niece of the family!) over father's day weekend. They live in a pretty small town in eastern Washington, which apparently has the most famous Flag Day celebration in the nation! (Like anybody could ever know that.) 

Highlights:

Parade!  Not pictured: Thousands of Old Cars, Whitman County Princesses, Horse Poop.

Beer Garden! (Serving Canadian beer on tap--figure that one out for me).

Also not pictured: Huge Inflatable Kids' Toy, craft booths, cheap and delicious bbq food. 

Stay tuned for a summary of one of Seattle's most famous parades. I'll be comparing and contrasting the two.

the life aquatic

Time for Phase 2 of "Places to Go In Seattle":

The Seattle Aquarium

Seriously this time. I went on a "field trip" with the daycare kids at school the other day, and it was a really good time. 

Maybe it was because, even though I was out in public with a 

bunch of kids, this time it wasn't teens and preteens. But I think it was because I felt like I was back in my own childhood. 

I used to be a pretty big fan of The Little Mermaid, right? So 

their underwater observatory (right) made me

 practically break out into the song "Under the Sea" (in my best Sebastian Jamaican accent, of course) and recreate some choreographed dance that I'm sure my sister and I had made up to go along with it. 

And, OK, so maybe I wasn't technically a kid when Finding Nemo came out, but I thought it was cute that they had clown fish and whatever-Dori-is-fish in the same tank together. Best friends!

They had tons of other cool stuff that I wasn't able to get good pictures of. My favorites:

1. Giant octopus, which we got to see ripping the head off of a fish (cue Ursula singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls")

2. Petting zoo - grope all the sea anemones and cucumbers like you always dreamed about

3. Sea otters

4. Limited time only - Mermaid Exhibit. OK, just kidding about that one. Those things are way too hard to catch.

the perks

Don't let anyone try and tell you otherwise: There are some sweet perks to being a teacher. 

1. Summers off

2. Daily treats--there's always at least one kid in the school passing out birthday cupcakes during recess

3. End-of-the-year gifts

It's this final thing that I'd like to focus on today. Friday was the last day of school this year (boo-yah) so there was pretty much a constant trickle of kids coming in with little trinkets for yours truly. Here are some of the highlights:

This line of hand-crafted mini-stuffed-animal ornaments. 

(Made by a parent, named by Me.)

Bunnasus (bunny + pegasus)

Girragon (giraffe + dragon -- see where I'm going here?)

Cute, huh? Giraffes are another one of my favorite animals, so I got the giggles about that one. Plus, here's an image of the Bunnasus vs. Girragon Staring Contest. I had to snap the picture real fast because I was afraid one of them was going to burst into flames. 

I guess it was Year of the Ornament, because I also got this funny teacher angel ornament. I like how it's a real photo-slash-illustration. It reminds me of Claudine Hellmuth's artwork.

Thanks, kids, for giving me something to blog about!

frequently asked questions

Nearly everyone I've mentioned that I'm starting a blog to has asked "What's your theme going to be?" Hmm. I hadn't thought of that. I'm not really into "thinking ahead before I start a project." OK? Can't I just be my normal casual, witty self without having to conform to a theme? My theme is: to have no theme!

Except here are some things I'd like to cover:

1. Places to Go in Seattle

2. Funny/Annoying Things that Kids Do

3. Making Fun of Things (Mostly Myself)

4. Cool Stuff That I Like

How do you like them apples?

So in my first attempt at following a theme, I would like my post today to cover Topic #1: Places to Go in Seattle. Or, more specifically this time,

Places You Should NEVER Go In Seattle. 

Ahem. Let me set the scene for you a little bit. I'm a teacher, right? Eighth grade. School is out tomorrow (Praise the Lord!--and I really mean that because I also teach at a Catholic school). So today, as a big reward to all of the middle school kids who have been crossing guards all year, we took them to (drumroll please): Wild Waves!

The only water/theme park around. Except, it turns out that this place opens its door two--count them, two--days every year for this specific purpose: for schools to take huge groups of kids as some sort of end-of-the-year treat.

Here is why you should never go, at least not during the first week of June.

1. It rains. (And I usually defend Seattle about the amount of rain we get here; it's not as bad as it's made out to be. But today it was just...dumping.)

2. Kids don't prepare for the rain, and they tend to whine just a smidge when they are cold and wet.

3. There is no real under cover place for teachers/chaperones to huddle, except for one small dining area. Which is overrun with whining, wet kids.

4. There are lots of kids there. Think thousands. Think thousands of teens and preteens. 

5. When thousands of teens and preteens get together, it's generally a mess because

a. They all want to have PDA with each other,

b. They all think they're the coolest kid there,

c. They have Voice Modulation Disorder and Are Not Capable of Being Quiet.

Other than that, it seems like a great place. 

goal achieved!

For quite some time now, one of my main goals in life has been to become a "regular" somewhere. I think I've finally reached that status at the local Mexican restaurant, Tacos Guaymas , near Green Lake in Seattle. My sister Molly and I have been going there pretty regularly for about 2 years. We always go for happy hour and order the same thing every time. Me: house margarita, on the rocks, with salt. Her: house margarita, on the rocks, no salt. (Hey, we can't do everything exactly the same!)

Anyway, we had a "dry spell" for a few months where we didn't go in. We went back a few weeks ago, and the regular waitress was like, "Hey! Long time no see." And she knew our drinks. (Plus she knew to keep them coming!) Yessss. My life is complete.

New goal: Find the yummiest margarita in Seattle. This is something I think I can do this summer. Are you in, sister?

best friends!

Meet my best friend, Clorox Disinfecting Wipes! (DW, I call her.)

Indeed, good ol' DW is always there for me. I can always count on her to help me clean up my messes and make my day a little brighter. Plus she smells good. And let's not forget CC (Clean-up Cleaner), DW's cousin who is also sitting right by my desk. We're pretty tight, too.

I guess that speaks to what a whack-job I am. But I did mention in my profile that I may have mild OCD, so you shouldn't be too surprised. 

Speaking of OCD (and I sincerely hope I'm not offending anyone who truly has it), do you want to know what the highlight of my day was? Long story short, I spent 2 hours this afternoon helping to copy, collate, stuff, and stamp envelopes for a mailer going out from the school where I teach. I'm a huge fan of sorting-slash-organizing things, so this task was like crack. Seriously, by the end of it I had it down  robot-style--no energy wasted on frivolous movements. No papers dropped. Not even one paper cut.

I made those mailers my bitch!

peacock-a-palooza

Have you heard that peacocks have the biggest egos in all of the animal kingdom? Neither had I. That's why I made it up. It's OK. I'm a scientist. I'm allowed to make those sorts of lofty claims. I'm sure there's someone out there researching it right now. But, seriously, where do you think they got the term cocky? 

I painted this rock yesterday to better communicate my feelings about peacocks. They're pretty much my favorite animal. 

Here are a few legitimate facts about peacocks:

1. Female peahens (only the males are called peacocks--very fitting if you ask me!) choose their mates based on the size, color and quality of their tail feathers. Apparently "quivering of the tail feathers" is also part of the ritual. Who knew birds could be so human-ish?

2. Peacocks have been called "urban guard dogs" because people used to keep them as pets, and they apparently make some freakin' loud call when humans approach. Apparently it's all the rage for "stately British homes"; they make signs to hang on their gates that say: CAUTION! Beware of Peacock. (OK, I made that last part up, too.)

3. My personal favorite: A group of peacocks is referred to as a "party". I kid you not. A party of peacocks! Who wouldn't want to receive that evite? In fact, I'm feeling an idea for our summer theme party coming on...Door prizes for Fanciest Plume, Sexiest Courtship Dance and Most Startling Squawk.