adventures in public transport

Have you ridden the Metro lately? I'm a big fan. For only a measly $1.50, you get whisked away to any location you might desire without having to worry about sitting in traffic, dealing with road rage, or parking fees!

I hopped on the 16 (my favorite route!) last Friday to head downtown for a haircut. For maybe the first time ever, I felt like I knew what I was doing as I slid my fare into the coin machine, asked for a transfer, and took a seat. And, unlike the last time I rode, I didn't trip while going up the steps! So cool. So collected. So urban.

The trip there was uneventful; lots of young working-folk with their iPods and No Eye Contact. The ride home however, which took place at around 1:00, had a slightly different feel. 

I just barely missed one bus, so I had a good twenty minute wait at the busstop on 3rd and Bell. Cue Old Lady with Walker and Cigarette Addiction, who sidled up beside me. I took the opportunity to casually step away and brush up on all the downtown routes, courtesy of the large Metro Kiosk nearby. Excellent. Board the bus (finally) and remember to Pay As You Leave. Sit down next to nice young woman reading the Bible and decide to forego the iPod and just people watch. There were several tourists aboard, asking other patrons and the driver about where they should get off. Only once did the bus actually stop at a random street corner to let said tourists dismount, as they were headed in the complete wrong direction. A nice young woman, clearly a Seattleite, was helpful in figuring that out.

A few minutes into the ride, my phone rang, and feeling like a jerk, I answered it. While I gabbed with Sissy, a fight ensued between the afore-mentioned nice young woman and her riding partner, an older woman in a wheelchair. Think mud-slinging, obscenity-laced argument. Some key phrases: "ya bleepin freeloader!" and "yer makin a fool outta yerself!" Anyway, the rest of the bus fell into an uncomfortable silence.

As soon as I ended my phone conversation, I got a tap-tap on the shoulder from a dear older man sitting across the aisle. "Shouldn't the driver ask them to get off?" he wanted my opinion. Since the ladies were in clear earshot, I felt awkward answering, so I gave a vague nod. He proceeded to entertain me for the next 15 minutes with PG jokes ("What kind of lights were on Noah's Ark? FLOOD lights!"), his philosophy on life ("People should just take life one day at a time and not freak out over little things), and some classroom suggestions for me when he found out I was a teacher (Leaf rubbings for fall! Who knew?!). Oh yeah, and he gave me his copy of the Seattle Times so I could brush up on my current events. 

So, for you newbies, here are some tips for riding public transit:

1. Know where the route is going BEFORE you board.

2. Watch your step while you board.

3. Never EVER forego the iPod.

On the upside, you will most likely dismount feeling like the most normal person in the world!